Tuesday, March 13, 2012


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I’ve been thinking a lot about my life lately. Purging seems to do that to me. When I go through boxes of photographs (some sepia tone loving- sorry, couldn’t resist it, BIG Jack Johnson fan over here) and things I made twenty years ago, I can’t help but think about where I am and how long I’ve come from.

Circa 1981
If you are like me, you think a lot about the other paths. Those you turned down. The ones you were sure you didn’t want, and how happy you are not there right now. But also, about the ones you were in doubt, and whether you’d been happier if you had taken it.

Circa 1984

I think I might just be having an overly emotional year. 2010 and 2011 brought some huge changes in my life. I’m thankful for them, the good and the bad. But it’s now starting to sink in. Some of it was just something fun, fresh and new, but now it really feels real. And I can’t help but question myself.

Circa 1988

Deep down, I believe God protects me and that I am always where his will places me. But sometimes I just get carried away thinking about my ‘mistakes’. If there is such a thing as a ‘mistake’ in life. Maybe there isn’t.

Circa 1992

I work with small children and am always amazed about how their problems are so little, but so big to them. Someone took my crayon. She won’t say she is sorry. He showed me his tongue. Grownups tend to dismiss them, but all you need to do is look at a three year old crying to see how much it hurt.

Circa 1996

Maybe deep down we are all a bunch of three year olds running around. At least, I certainly feel like that from time to time. Sometimes I think ‘if only my biggest problem was having to share the play dough and tidying up the dress-up trunk’. My problems seem much bigger. But they are not. When I look at what was nagging at me two years ago…I simply cannot remember. So here is to living in the moment like a three year old, but being grown up enough to know that no matter what, its only small potatoes.

1 comment:

Carmen said...

Julie, the clever thing in life you found out already, never leave that child inside you go away. The dificult times as you said God is there and He watch us all the time. Do keep your soul and heart pure that is it. Love Carmen