My not-so-perfect life

I have been getting mixed feelings when talking to some friends who keep up with my blog. Some of them feel I am so honest in showing pictures of the naked truth, whether the bed is made or not. Some of them feel I embarrass them over how organized my home is.

Everything is relative. That’s all I can say. If you are nit-picky, you will see chaos when you go through my posts. If you have little time/attention/patience for organization, you will think I am borderline OCD. That’s ok too.

My life, my house, my job and my marriage are not perfect. If I had more money/time/effort/patience, I could have a calmer life/neater house/ more productive job output/ better marriage. But I do what I can.

Some people focus on being a care giver and stay at home parent. I think that is awesome, and pray that one day I will be able to do that as well. Some people dedicate themselves to their career, so they can provide the best of everything to their spouses and kids. Rock on. Some people focus on the needy and end up neglecting a bit of their closest relatives. It’s all good.

I’ve learned I can’t compare myself to others. I especially can’t compare myself to that gorgeous, rich, intelligent and successful friend- we all have one of those, and would hate her, if only she wasn’t so nice. But the truth is, God, my family, friends and husband love me for who I am. That’s perfect enough for me.

Why I choose to wake up earlier than I have to

I read a post on Yes teacher that truly inspired me. The woman wakes up at 5.45 everyday, including weekends! That is just crazy! But craziness aside, I like the idea of having a set time to wake up (Monday to Friday only!) and being calm, cool and collected before rushing to the day’s madness.

Somethings you can only do early in the day. Ballooning is one of them.

I used to wake up at 5 am to go to work. It was insane. I had to go to bed by 9 and my husband was usually getting home around 8.30, which meant by the time he arrived I was cranky, hungry and in my flannel pjs. Sexy, I know.

Now, I technically have to get up at 7. I could push it and wake up at 7.15 if I wanted to, because I only leave my house at 7.45. Needless to say, the first couple of weeks on the new job meant sleeping until the last possible minute, until I realized I was often flustered in the morning.

So I made a deal with myself, waking up each day 15 minutes earlier than the previous. I started my routine with quick shower+ quick dress up +quick walk with the dogs+ frantic drive to work. Within the last week I increased my mornings in a whole hour. Now I have a nice shower, figure out what I want to dress, don’t rush my dogs, make and have breakfast (actually sitting down at the table, no more of that eating while leaning on the counter shenanigans).

There is only one thing that changed: I start my days happier. Calmer. At ease. And although I run like mad during school hours, I know it’s ok because I’ve had a nice calm morning to start the day.

Reminiscing...

I’ve been thinking a lot about my life lately. Purging seems to do that to me. When I go through boxes of photographs (some sepia tone loving- sorry, couldn’t resist it, BIG Jack Johnson fan over here) and things I made twenty years ago, I can’t help but think about where I am and how long I’ve come from.

Circa 1981

If you are like me, you think a lot about the other paths. Those you turned down. The ones you were sure you didn’t want, and how happy you are not there right now. But also, about the ones you were in doubt, and whether you’d been happier if you had taken it.

Circa 1984

I think I might just be having an overly emotional year. 2010 and 2011 brought some huge changes in my life. I’m thankful for them, the good and the bad. But it’s now starting to sink in. Some of it was just something fun, fresh and new, but now it really feels real. And I can’t help but question myself.

Circa 1988

Deep down, I believe God protects me and that I am always where his will places me. But sometimes I just get carried away thinking about my ‘mistakes’. If there is such a thing as a ‘mistake’ in life. Maybe there isn’t.

Circa 1992

I work with small children and am always amazed about how their problems are so little, but so big to them. Someone took my crayon. She won’t say she is sorry. He showed me his tongue. Grownups tend to dismiss them, but all you need to do is look at a three year old crying to see how much it hurt.

Circa 1996

Maybe deep down we are all a bunch of three year olds running around. At least, I certainly feel like that from time to time. Sometimes I think ‘if only my biggest problem was having to share the play dough and tidying up the dress-up trunk’. My problems seem much bigger. But they are not. When I look at what was nagging at me two years ago…I simply cannot remember. So here is to living in the moment like a three year old, but being grown up enough to know that no matter what, its only small potatoes.

12 things to do in 2012

I saw this post on Little Lucy Lu that got my attention. I am a list-maker and love the concept of checking things of as I go- nothing like that feeling of ‘Oh, yeah! I DID IT!’.

I really liked the list, but I know myself, and giving myself years to finish it off means it just won’t get done. Procrastinators Anonymous, that’s me. So I decided to make a list for this year.

Yeah, we’re two months in it already, but it ok because:
A- I only thought of it now,
B- I live in Brazil and everyone says our year only starts after Carnival(which means after Ash Wednesday!) and
C- who cares, as long as it motivates me, it should be all good and
D- Today is February 29th! And as much as I would rather spend my extra 2012 day at Walt Disney World Resort, I do have to work, so I can at least have fun list-making fun!

So without much further a-do, here is my list of 12 things to tackle in 2012. As you can see, it's an ongoing project, and I have indeed been thinking about it for a while!

1- Deepen my relationship with Christ

2- Lose weight

3- Paint and do some at least five DYI projects around my house

4- Improve my cooking

5- Learn to sew

6- Get my Education specialist degree (almost there!)

7- Submit my writing for a blog as a guest blogger

8- Cut off animal products

9- Set a workout routine- and stick to it!

10- Take more pictures (of pretty much everything)

11- Volunteer somewhere

12- Learn to manage save money

No, there is no ‘scuba-diving in Maui’, we are going for realistic things. No OCD-detail-oriented goals as well. Losing weight means closing the year with less than I weight today, and I refuse to feel bad if I don’t reach a number. Life is not about numbers.

To make sure I get on it, I am leaving this post onto a page, so it will literally haunt me every time I open my blog. You know the saying, away from the eyes...

What about you, do you have any goals set for the near future?