Wednesday, December 19, 2012

Through the desert

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This is part 7 of my spiritual journey. Start reading here.

So I came back home for good. I told people I was fine, but in reality, I was sulking. I felt I didn't deserve to leave the gorgeous peach state. I was frustrated I knew I'd have an easier life there. And I was determined that I would never find a church like Victory in Brazil.

So obviously, I didn't. For every place I went to, I began a mental list of all its flaws. The worship. The pastor. The location. The lack of air conditioning. My mind just kept going next, next, next!

I hung on to podcasts for dear life. I would listen to Joyce Meyer, Jentezen Franklin, Brian Houston and Joel Osteen. There was no way I'd find anything worthwhile, so I just kept re-reading all my Christian books. I was a total Christian snob, unwilling to get involved with Brazilian Christians.

After a couple of years, we actually did make it to one church we enjoyed, but after a stern comment made by the pastor, we left and never went back. 

Looking back, now I know these were the hardest years in my relationship with Andre. I was snappy. He was too comfortable. We went through emotions like a roller coaster. Until, because of lack of financial means, we had to move out of the city, into a suburb. And then, all of a sudden, the desire for fellowship started growing in me once more.

Come back tomorrow for part 8!