Wednesday, October 31, 2012

31 days: On reaching the end of the road

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Tuesday, October 30, 2012

31 days: On listening to others

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I am joining the Nester plus quite a few other bloggers in a 31 day writing challenge. You can write about whatever you want, and I choose to write on the search for a Spirit-led life. Join me, won't you?

To start reading from the beginning, and for links for all days, click here.





On listening to others

Today I'd like to share with you my favorite 31 dayers. I've been blessed to stumble upon these bloggers, and have been learning quite a lot from them:

Life in Grace has been writing on Hospitality. I found out I didn't even know the true meaning of the word. 

Resourceful Mommy has been writing about 31 days of Disney. I'm just a tad bit obsessed about it. 

Amanda has been writing about 31 days of intention with a measure of grace. I fell in love with her writing. 

Weekend Farm Mom is writing on 31 days to a better garden. Maybe someday I'll be able to actually put her advice into practice. 

A Time for Everything has been writing on 31 days to a better budget. I actually printed her posts (sad). 

Queen of the Creek has been writing on How to seduce your guys in 31 days. Oh-lala!

December Skye is writing on 31 days of small space. Great inspiration!

If you'd like to see the complete list (!) click here. And good luck. 

If you have any 31 dayers to share, please do so in the comments. There are just way too many of them for me to go one-by-one, but I'd be glad to take some suggestions!

Tomorrow we'll be back to wrap up this series. Horray!

Monday, October 29, 2012

31 days: On forgiveness

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I am joining the Nester plus quite a few other bloggers in a 31 day writing challenge. You can write about whatever you want, and I choose to write on the search for a Spirit-led life. Join me, won't you?

To start reading from the beginning, and for links for all days, click here.




On forgiveness

This past Saturday our church couples met for dinner. I cannot begin to tell you how much I simply love those. Something truly holy takes place. And this time, we felt it was brought up to a new level. Testimonies filled with sad events glorified God, and paved the way for better marriages.

The main idea was the sanctity of marriage, and how there is one simple way to get there: forgiveness. 

When I got married, I guess I was quite naive. I thought marriage was about making my husband happy. About being happy. This week I learned it's not. It's about forgiving. And just as important, it's about asking for forgiveness.

Nowadays we tend to say a half-hearted sorry when things go wrong. We don't stop. We don't acknowledge how we make others feel. How we feel. Why we are wrong. Or God forbid, let go of control to apologize. And the pride eats up, destroying marriages that don't even have something terribly wrong with them.

I witnessed a long marriage go down the drain. Until today, I cannot say why divorce happened. My guess, lack of sanctity. Of asking and offering forgiveness. On the big things and the little ones. Which sounds quite sad. And honestly, quite stupid.

So my husband and I started a new ritual. When we go to bed we talk about our day. We ask if there is anything we did to hurt each other. And then we ask forgiveness. And then we grant it. We've been doing this for two whole days, and guess what? Something came up every day. And my guess is that it will, for the rest of our lives. That's why we choose to do it. 

Saturday, October 27, 2012

31 days: On phases

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I am joining the Nester plus quite a few other bloggers in a 31 day writing challenge. You can write about whatever you want, and I choose to write on the search for a Spirit-led life. Join me, won't you?

To start reading from the beginning, and for links for all days, click here.




On phases

Lately I realized a ground-breaking truth. When thinking about wishes, future, plans, goals, regrets, if onlys, and all other sort of unproductive stuff that seem to haunt us in our solitude, I remembered what a lady talked about in our Sunday Bible School.

Life is made of phases. 

I've known that for a long time. And for a long time, I though it mean something quite simple. Life is like a video-game. You act right, you do what you have to, you learn your lesson. Then you move on. That's actually something that a lot of people take as an inherent truth, even in some Christian churches.

And then you think about someone like Job, who did nothing wrong and did not have a lesson to learn (his wife and friends obviously did). Or we think about people like Paul and all that he went through. We think about missionaries that give their lives for the kingdom and yet have tragedies strike them. And I can't help but wonder: what is it that they need to learn? Or is it that they don't really?

When you live your life for God's glory, it's not about you or your needs. Simple as that. 

So it makes no sense to think I need to think/act/believe a certain way so that God will deliver me. I need to know that God is working for His glory, and trust that he will sustain me. Simple as that.  

Which means my phases are not about my needs, but about how God can use me at every phase of my life. 

Friday, October 26, 2012

31 days: On self-control

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On self-control

One of my biggest struggles is aligning my beliefs and way of thinking with my actions. To put it bluntly, it's "practicing what I preach". It's focusing on my short comings instead of pointing those of my neighbor. 

The reason for most of my frustrations in life? Lack of self-control.

Think about it: we know the theory. We can see it when things happen with other people. How they should just let go, let God, ask for change in their own hearts instead of begging God to change someone or something.

And yet when it's with us, it's so difficult to grasp this truth. Our rebel minds seem to trick us every time. Just this once, you are entitled to be mad. Of course you are right. This isn't fair. 

It all comes down to knowing whose you are. That's where the control should come from anyway. 

Thursday, October 25, 2012

31 days: On gentleness

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To start reading from the beginning, and for links for all days, click here.




On gentleness
 
 
When upset over something, I've learned I have three basic modes of dealing with people:
 
I scream, and shout, and cry and guilt-trip them.
 
I keep my teeth gritted and tell myself to keep cool, while methodically pointing out flaws and coming up with alternatives ("its your choice, you do this, or I will do that)
 
I keep quiet and listen. Until I usually explode and resort to #1 or #2 above.
 
In the heat of the argument, it's not so easy for me to see how unproductive those options are. I just want to be right. And the fact that my husband often lets me win our arguments, I feel victorious. Until I just feel like crap.
 
So today I choose to focus on being gentle instead of being right. Even if only for today. Or for this hour. Or until something drives me crazy. But I'll keep the word in the back of my mind when I have to speak. The same way I tell little kids how to pet a dog:
 
gentle.
 
 
gentle.
 
 
gentle.

Wednesday, October 24, 2012

31 days: On faithfulness

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To start reading from the beginning, and for links for all days, click here.




On faithfulness
 
This week my husband and I were invited on a spur-of-the-moment blurt-out announcement to join some friends for dinner. Well, technically, when they invited us they were more of acquaintances. Let me tell you how not cool it is to have to ask for someone's name again right after they invite you to their house. Since she couldn't remember my name either, it wasn't that bad after all.
 
It turns out dinner was great, and some time between my husband's pollen ridden choice of flowers (only men give lillies as they are pretty, but quite smelly and make such a mess!) and the hugs good-night, we felt a new friendship being born.
 
As we talked about faith, we felt the familiar and unfamiliar paths mix. Our stories are the ones we tell over and over again. Their stories are the brand new ones. And we laugh. And we cry. And we pray. And we listen.
 
As we spoke, one person mentioned on how impressive to see such Christian maturity. He felt he could see us live what he knew in theory but found it oh, so hard.
 
Something about it kept bugging me. I felt I was being fake. Did I say something to impress someone? Did I try to look good? I was already thinking of the ways I need to point out to them that I'm just learning.
 
And I am. And I do. But I figured out he wasn't totally wrong. As we talk and share our hearts, the truth comes out. We stop focusing on the times we failed and share our victories. We offer up all we have. That's when we become living testimonies of our faithfulness.
 
 

Tuesday, October 23, 2012

31 days: On goodness

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To start reading from the beginning, and for links for all days, click here.




On goodness
 
"Do all the good you can,
By all the means you can,
In all the ways you can,
In all the places you can,
At all the times you can,
To all the people you can,
As long as ever you can."

John Wesley

Monday, October 22, 2012

31 days: On kindness

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To start reading from the beginning, and for links for all days, click here.




On kindness
 
 
 

I am a good girl. I like rules. I thrive under positive reinforcement. I was born for legalism.
 
I've talked about how easy it is for me to slip into a Christian competition, even with myself. How I tend to lean on my actions. How much of a good girl I am. And how I've been throwing it all away lately.
 
Each time I choose to be instead of do, I see a clear lesson: kindness.
 
Kindness towards others.
 
Each time I pass on the chance to judge. To preach. To lecture. To roll my eyes. To speak my mind. To act all frumpy and pick a fight. Kindness.
 
Kindness towards myself.
 
Each time I let go of expectations. Of guilt. Of blame. Of feeling self-entitled. Of the need for perfection. Kindness.


Sunday, October 21, 2012

31 days: On forbearance

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To start reading from the beginning, and for links for all days, click here.



On forbearance


When I was a teen I enjoyed a silly girly game. Its similar to a tick tack toe, but you fill it up with the kinds of stuff you want for your future with three options of each. Three potential husbands. Three names of baby girls. Three names of baby boys. And three of more silly stuff.

Then you choose the age you think you will get married. Because whatever number you pick, that's the one you will count and methodically cross things out so you get left with one of each, a glimpse of the future. Pathetic, I know. But I was obsessed with it.

The age I chose for my wedding? 23. Always 23. 

The age I actually got married? 28, almost getting to 29 (I actually turned 29 on my honeymoon).

That means that for nearly 6 years, I was single, when I had always thought and planned, and hoped, and wished, and dreamed I would be married. When I was in college, I was ready to meet the one. When I graduated, I was ready to get married. If you had asked me ten years ago where would I be when I were 31, I would probably say a stay at home mom with three kids ages 3, 5 and 7. Today I guess you could say I have three babies. They are all furry and the cutest mutts I could wish for, but there are no human babies around yet.

If there is one thing I do well is to live thinking about the future. If only I already did this, whenever I get that, as soon as this comes....and it is so easy to live our lives focused on what's not here. And miss that waiting for it, trusting it and having faith in it, that makes all the difference.

Saturday, October 20, 2012

31 days: On peace

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To start reading from the beginning, and for links for all days, click here.



On peace


When we look at the details of life, what is peace? Is it only about making a stand against war and road rage?

Or is it keeping my mouth shut so I don't always try to win arguments with my husband?

Can it possibly include calling family members every once in a while just to check up on them?

How about taking a stand on my meal choices, so that I am not part of an industry that is anything but humane to animals?

Does it include learning to let go of my ego and my judgement in order to learn to love better?

What do you think?

Friday, October 19, 2012

31 days: On joy

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To start reading from the beginning, and for links for all days, click here.


On joy


Yesterday we began talking about the fruits of the Spirit, and as I am a bit of an OCD when it comes to these things, I figured we will go in the order they were written. Which leaves today with joy.

I always figured joy = happy. But when I looked over some definitions, I realised it's not just that. The Free Dictionary Online defines joy as An intense and especially ecstatic or exultant happiness. I just love that.

And as much as I love that, I want that. I cannot help but think that I don't have that. Maybe some fleeting moments, but on the day to day, 24/7, I can think of many adverbs and adjectives to think of to describe my feelings. Exultant happiness is not one of them.

But now I see how joy relates to one basic principle: satisfaction in God. The more satisfaction I get from God, the bigger exultant happiness I'll be able to enjoy.

Thursday, October 18, 2012

31 days: On love

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To start reading from the beginning, and for links for all days, click here.


On love
 
Galatians 5:22-23 tells us the fruits of the Spirit. These are nine little things that could be golden rules for mankind. I've heard many preachers talk about them, and most agree: it doesn't mean that if you are still working on one you are not living a Spirit-led life. However, these are fruits that help us spot the working of the Spirit in us, so maybe the lack of one can mean that we need to ask God to take that specific trait onto His hand and work in us.
 
The first fruit Paul talks about is love. And by the amount of times that the word love pops up in the Bible, it doesn't take a genius to figure that is a major one right there. Love God. Love others. Love widows and orphans. Love your enemies. Love, love, love.
 
It's easy to love our family and friends. It's not hard to love kind people, gentle children and nice strangers. It's easy to love all that promotes beauty and joy.
 
Loving the guy who cuts you off in traffic? Not so easy. The girl who looks down on you because your hair is a mess? Quite a stretch. The toddler who is throwing a tantrum on the next table at the restaurant? The crazy homeless who swears at you? The football player who kills dogs? The child molester? The corrupt politician? Not so easy, now is it?
 
I don't have much to say, because I am still learning, and this is a heavy topic. Who am I to be a hypocrite, preaching how to love when there are times I have to remind myself I love my own husband, even if he drives me up the walls just a bit? I do, however, love this quote from Mark Lowry, and hope it can inspire us all:
 
 


Wednesday, October 17, 2012

31 days: on breakthroughs

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On breakthroughs
 
 
I love it when we go through a spiritual breakthrough. I can only imagine how Jesus must be nodding along, waiting for us to put 2 and 2 together, just as I love it when a small child finally understands what comes after six or what sound the letter w makes. It is such a feeling of success, of pride for someone else's accomplishments, we just want to hug and high-five the kid. I bet Jesus feels the same.
 
Take this Sunday, for example. Our Sunday Bible School has been focusing on the gospel of John for a long time. We started on the first week of July and are still only up to chapter 14. We tease the teachers, but I think that is a really good thing.
 
We focused on John 14:23, discussing how God will come to all those who love Him and 'make a home with them' for quite a while.  It all sounded quite lovely and straightforward. And then the teacher dropped his bomb. The word 'home' as it is here, only appears once more in Jesus' teachings, on John 14:02, stating that God's house has many rooms, and that Jesus was going to prepare some room ('home') for us.
 
wow.
 
It took me a couple of hours to digest this. Jesus promises to go prepare a place for us (on the cross) and later mentions that He leaves us the Holy Spirit which will inhabit into us. The homes aren't over the rainbow or above the clouds. They aren't for after death. They are right here, as soon as you believe in Him.
 
wow. Don't you just love that? I know I do. 

Tuesday, October 16, 2012

31 days: on the unpredictable

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To start reading from the beginning, and for links for all days, click here.


On the unpredictable
 
 
I like rules. I like routine. I like things in order. People probably think I've attended military school due to my attention to detail when it comes to timetables and plans. As a teenager, I used to write down my 'to do tasks' . In thirty minute increments. Sad, I know.
 
So for me, it's natural to get frustrated when things don't go my way. And more often than not, things do not go my way. Take this challenge, for example. 31 days writing on a topic. Piece of cake, right? But when I got home to a (lovely) four-day weekend and noticed there was no internet connection, I panicked. I'm supposed to post something by Saturday. What will people think?
 
Yesterday my husband went to work and I actually considered going somewhere with wifi to write. I actually considered writing 4 back-to-back posts to 'catch up'. And then I gave up. It happens. I had other plans. I had no internet. I need to get over it. When it comes to posting, and to everything else in life. 

Friday, October 12, 2012

31 days: On lessons learned from children

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To start reading from the beginning, and for links for all days, click here.


On lessons learned from children
 
 
 
Today is children's day in Brazil. As it is a self proclaimed catholic country (who gets to pick that?), it is also the patron saint day, which means it's a national holiday with no work and school. To honour the kids, I'd like to share three lessons I learned from being surrounded by kids all day.
 
Lesson #1 - It's all small potatoes
 
Kids can cry over the silliest things. Bumping into a friend. Cutting on the wrong dotted line. Not being the first one to grab the purple crayon. Having to wait their turn to get a toy. As grown ups, we look and think oh, come on, that is nothing to cry about!
 
Sometimes I think that is how God feels when we start fussing. Someone hit my car. I lost my job. That cute boy asked my friend out, not me. It's like we don't realise that there are things just as good, if not better, still available to us. As my friend (yeah right, as if she knew who I was) Lisa-Jo says, there is room for all of us in the kingdom.
 
Lesson #2 - How distractions work
 
I am always surprised as how children can easily be distracted. A child can be hiperventilating from crying so much, yet all it takes is a oh, wow, look at THIS! to get them to stop immediately. All of a sudden, they can't even remember what they were crying about.
 
I can relate. I can have the best intentions, yet when distractions come (and, boy, do they  come!) I let go of what I held onto. All of a sudden I am attacking my husband even though I vowed to be nice. I am fuming at my coworker regardless of my decision to show her Christian love. It's just so easy to fall into that trap. Too bad usually kids get distracted from pain by something good, and we tend to do just the opposite!
 
Lesson #3 - Kindness solves everything
 
No matter how many times I've messed up and told off a kid, how many times they told me they were angry at me, or how much I wanted to wring their necks. Everytime I offered a kind truce (usually involving stickers, cookies, a hug or some special attention) it's like all my mistakes never took place. Kids don't hold on to our past mistakes like grown ups do. They don't use it as ammunition to throw it on our faces later on. When you say you're sorry and a kid says 'ok' (because you should totally apologise to a child when they deserve it), they really mean 'ok'. Just like I do. Yeah, right.
 
I trully believe children have something special about it, which shows me just how we are inherently made the way God wants us to. We just seem to forget it along the way.
 
 


Thursday, October 11, 2012

31 days: on worship

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I am joining the Nester plus quite a few other bloggers in a 31 day writing challenge. You can write about whatever you want, and I choose to write on the search for a Spirit-led life. Join me, won't you?

To start reading from the beginning, and for links for all days, click here.


 
On worship
 
Worship: The reverent love and devotion accorded to a god or God.
 
Reverent love. Isn't that just plain beautiful?
 
I am a great shower-worship-singer. In the solitude of my house or with the car windows rolled up, I can sing at the top of my lungs to Hillsong's upbeat tunes or Rita Springer's lovely melodies. I profess an undying love and a need for relationship, a willingness to give my all and the need for more of Him.
 
But as I walk about in my mundane life, in my common day-to-day, I find worship quite hard. To have reverent love as things don't go my way. As I have chores which I am not fond of. As I am tired and cranky. As I want someone to spoil me instead of thinking of others.
 
But if my lips can sing and my eyes get all teary, obviously these are songs from my heart. Which means I was made to do all these things that sound so gorgeous and selfless. So I take today, to offer everything I do as a form of worship to God.


Wednesday, October 10, 2012

31 days: on books

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To start reading from the beginning, and for links for all days, click here.



On books
 

Today I'd like to share with you some of my favorite Christian books. These are books that in some way shaped my faith and helped me to understand a bit more about how to have a Spirit-led life.
 
Don't get me wrong, the lessons here have not been thoroughly learned. I've gotten into the habit of re-reading books after a while (in some cases, a very short while) in order to let more of its goodness sink in:
 
Joanna Weaver's Having a Mary Heart in a Martha World - For anyone who thinks they need to do, do, do, please, please, please, achieve, achieve, achieve, impress, impress, impress. Even if those things seem to be for the right reasons, such as over dedicating yourself to your church. I've read this book a couple of times, as every so often I seem to fall back into the trap of becoming a Martha.
 
Pete Wilson's Empty Promises - I've mentioned Pete's name quite a few times in this little blog. The reason for that is that I loved, loved, loved this book. It talks about all sorts of things we fall for: power, money, dreams and much, much more, that end up becoming an idol in our lives. I had one idol in mind when I bought this book, but I was actually quite surprised to see I struggle with most of the ones he talks about to a certain degree. Some were so well hidden that I didn't know were a problem until I read this book!
 
Stormie Omartian's The Power of a Praying Wife - I had read The Power of a Praying Woman and found it so helpful to a new Christian as myself, who often didn't know how to pray. A couple of years later, I bought this book just because. It turns out that it took my prayer life to another level, and brought me to pray things over my husband I didn't even know I could or should!
 
C.S. Lewis'  Mere Christianity - A staple of every modern Christian. I read this while still struggling with a lot of Biblical concepts, and trying to figure things out while a lot of it still seemed backwards according to the way of life I was brought up. Life changing.
 
What about you, do you have any books to recommend?
 


Tuesday, October 9, 2012

31 days: on service

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I am joining the Nester plus quite a few other bloggers in a 31 day writing challenge. You can write about whatever you want, and I choose to write on the search for a Spirit-led life. Join me, won't you?

To start reading from the beginning, and for links for all days, click here.
 
On service
 
I am a selfish girl. I may tell you what you want to hear, but the truth is, if I have to choose between serving or being served, I will most likely ask you to do whatever it is needs done, and ask you to grab me a glass of water on your way back to the couch.
 
And when I do serve, boy, do I milk the most out of it. I make sure everyone knows I was the one to stop by the grocery store, or that I spent two hours ironing the clothes, and you should be oh, so thankful.
 
God has been working on that. Not on my willingness to serve (I'll do it, I'll just be rolling my eyes while I do so), but on having a serving heart.
 
Take the children's ministry, for example. My church is small and there is one service. About once a month, I am scheduled to help with the children, which means I completely lose the word preached.
 
I've asked God to show the church leaders we could add a morning service, so we could rotate and everyone would be able to take part. I've begged God to make the time go faster as I was serving, especially because most of what I do is take four-year-olds to the bathroom. I've contemplated quitting the ministry because I rushed into it anyway, so God couldn't possibly want me serving on a Sunday. I don't even have kids, let the mothers come up with a schedule has actually crossed my mind.
 
But every time I think about that, I realise that's not how things go. I see that God uses every moment of my life, not just the Sunday sermon to talk to me. That this service is quite similar to my job, minus the glory of my title, salary and recognition, so chances are, that is right where He wants me. And so I gear up for one more Sunday in which I kiss my husband good-bye right after the worship and head upstairs to do what is needed of me.