I've been less than straight forward with the reasons why I chose to take a six month blog hiatus. Part of the reason is because there have been many reasons. Part of it is because I sometimes feel like a four year old, who feels, yet cannot rationalize or verbalize the whys. And part of the reason is because the main reason is a pretty awesome one.
I have been blessed to get pregnant.
minutes after that stick showed two lines!
For me, it's always been the dream. As in, if you could have just one wish. No need to visit Florence or to scuba dive in the Australian corrals. No desire for driving a fancy car or living in a gated community. No drive to become a CEO or a pop star. I've always wanted to be a mom. Plain and simple.
I thought I was ready as soon as I finished college, but God has graciously given me a ten year gap. In this time, I've reconnected with my husband (a childhood friend), married, got a degree in Early Education and worked with children ages 2 to 8, which will obviously be a big help in the coming years. We bought our first house, adopted 3 rescued dogs and I have had countless (and mainly failed) attempts to start cooking.
A year and a half after I got married we began to have the baby talks. I went to my doctor who was brutally honest in telling me no way. I was extremely overweight and pregnancy would not be a great addition to mix. She gave me a year to lose 30 pounds, I came back having lost 15.
Since it was a good start, we got all my tests done and had the green light. However, it was anything but a celebratory go ahead. My doctor talked to me long and hard about how I was still way overweight, how my husband is so too, and how it would take us around two years to conceive. "But go ahead and start trying," she said, "Just don't get your hopes up."
That was February. On March 30th I took a home pregnancy test that came out positive. Medically speaking, my husband and I were in for a long road. Truthfully, God's plan was to show us his deliverance all along. And life hasn't been the same ever since.