Yesterday I began telling how Pastor Brian Houston's Release, Revive, Repair, Rebuild reading plan based on Ezra 9 made me focus on bringing back to life a ruined relationship. Unfortunately things were not shaping up...
After my meltdown, I went to church (Thank God for Wednesday services!). There, I was confronted with Psalm 1, and the more the pastor talked, the more God moved in my heart. Don't blame yourself. You are blessed. You delight in my law. You are indeed like that tree. My self-righteousness sprung straight up and I began to tell myself how the Lord watches over my path, and if people choose to walk in the way that perishes, too bad for them. I was in the right, they were in the wrong. Not very Christian of me, was it?
Thursday I got up decided to have a talk. I prayed a lot. As in a real big chunk of lot, y'all. I needed to keep my emotions in check. I would not cry. I would not scream. I would not complain. I would not defend myself. I would humble myself and be honest. And I did. Things were good.
Until at night things changed. A situation arose and our agreements seemed to backtrack. The worse part? I knew it was a lie. I was being told something, looking this person in the eye and thinking She is lying! How can she do it so naturally? I went to the source and confirmed what I thought, it was quite a huge stretch from the truth. In my book, that is called a lie. Delusion maybe. Lack of integrity, definitely.
I used to think a big lie was a big deal, but a little white lie, a little stretching of truth, was not a problem. Until I became a Christian and learned who is the father of all lies, and how God looks at sin. So now I am a big lie-legalistic and find it completely unacceptable, no matter to what degree of white it is.
Foaming through my mouth, I posted this picture on my Instagram.
I'll spare you of the nasty non-Christian comment that went with it. Check back on Thursday to read how God finally intervened.