People warn you that life will never be the same when you have a baby, that your entire existence will surround another life the moment that life comes out of you. I came to learn that that is a lie.
Don't get me wrong, it does happen. At least for the first couple of years of your child's life, they are dependent on you physically and emotionally. That part will indeed happen. But the after part is a big misconception.
I have learned in these 28 weeks of pregnancy that life begins revolving around that little one way before. For some couples, the planning, dreaming and waiting for a baby can take years. Years of preparing for someone who doesn't exist yet. Years of longing. Years of prayer. For us, we did think about baby every once in a while, but we did not shift our focus from our own life or from our marriage. That was until those two blue lines showed up, anyway.
However, the moment you learn that there is something, someone, growing inside of you, it is quite impossible not to shift your focus. Anything and everything became about baby. What I can eat. What I should eat. How much rest I should get. How much exercise I should make sure I get. Sun care. Dental care. Skin care. It wasn't anymore about my wants, but about his needs.
That is why I have been so strict in my pregnancy. For me, there were no questions about whether I would accept a sip of wine or cave into the sushi temptation. No discussion about whether I was too lazy to work out or too hot to wear those bloody tights. No guessing which allergies medication I could take, even though I felt like death itself from hay fever.
It's been about baby Arthur all along. And although I was warned that it would be a hard road and I would feel deprived many times, I have to say, I disagree. Placing my child's needs before my own has been simple and easy. And it taught me a new way to look at an old favorite verse:
If you cling to your life, you will lose it;
but if you give up your life for me, you will find it.
Matthew 10:38-40
