A misstep for His Glory

On Friday I promised I had news coming. I have been accused of writing cryptic messages on the blog due to my lack of divulging of actual events, but I guess that is how it is when you are bursting to split your guts online before you actually tell those involved. 

Before I do tell you what happened, let me give you some background info:

At the end of 2011, when I left my previous job, I had a specific direction from God: stay at home for a while and have a baby. 

Yeah, that's not what you want to hear when you know that your husband's income won't cover all your monthly costs. So my scary-cat self left the job and got myself into another one. Trusting God with salvation comes easier to me than trusting Him with my monthly bills. Crazy, isn't it?

I got myself into a job that was clearly against the odds. I signed my contract in a bakery, because the school wasn't ready. I worked the first week from home because there was no internet connection. I started the school year as the only teaching staff, with three students. I gave up a substantial percentage of my former salary, along with benefits. I was trading safety for...well, for crazy!

But I did it as a small step towards trusting God. If having no income was too much, having less income seemed to be a compromise. When everyone kept telling me to think it through, I knew God would keep cool in control. And above all, I knew this would not be easy, it would be a job that God would use tremendously in order to make me trust Him.

There, I met some people who changed me. I learned a lot about Early Education. I got a job in which, for the first time in a long time, I felt extremely challenged, and over my head. I came accross situations of pure disbelief, and of having to stand my ground in order to keep my Christian values. I cried -over and over again - for things that were unfair, and which I could probably sue my employers for.

Through it all, I needed Jesus more than ever, on a regular basis. It was a mistep taken in pure disobedience, but it made me connect with God more than ever. It showed me that when we go against God's direction out of fear, He does not only strike a lightning bolt at your head. He comforts you and guides you. He reminds you that He is always there, and still in control. And that no matter what choices I make, He loves and cares for me more than I could ever understand.