Remember my Instagram picture with the nasty comment? Apparently it did not hit home. Or maybe it did, and the enemy blinds us so much that we don't look at our own sin, thinking this does not apply to me. I, on the other hand, was devastated. When I posted it, I wanted it to hurt. But deep down, I wanted it to change something. To (maybe not so lovingly) point out I see what you are doing. It is not cool. Please stop. I need you to be a better role model for me.
I backtracked the entire situation. I served and it did not work. I humbled myself and it did not work. I talked and it did not work. I exposed sin and it did not work. And to make matters worse, it seemed that any shred of respect and honor I had for this person went out of the window. I was better off before I began this devotional in the first place. So I cried out to God. And then it hit me like a ton of bricks. God's answer came quickly and clearly.
You jumped the gun. Search my Word.
I had finished Ezra and moved on to Nehemiah. When I got to Nehemiah 7:4 I struck gold:
Now the city was large and spacious, but there were few people in it, and the houses had not yet been rebuilt.
The wheels began turning.
They came back from exile.
First they rebuilt the temple.
Then they rebuilt the walls.
Now they were about to rebuilt the houses.
I looked at my life. I tried to go from coming back from exile to rebuilding houses. I was putting family before God. But I have been a good girl, reading the Word, praying, studying, attending church, what was there to be rebuilt with God?
Trust. Exposing my own sins. Repentance. And a lot more that God is continually working in me.
I learned a great lesson through this mess. I cannot assume I know what God is trying to tell me. I need to ask Him. He does the talking, I do the listening, and not the other way around. So I threw my hands in the air about this whole kerfuffle, for now at least. I have more urgent things to deal with, and it's not about anybody else. It's between God and myself.